Valentine’s Day Read/Watch Lists Are Like a Box of Chocolates…

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Full disclosure, I fear I don’t have a romantic bone in my body. I actively avoid picking up anything “spicy”, meet-cutey, or romantasy (which is all the rage right now), and romcoms tend to make me give the screen a very long stink eye. But to be fair to myself, before you judge me too harshly, it isn’t for lack of trying. Earlier last year I thought to myself “hey, maybe you’re being a little too picky, why not give romance another try”, and I ventured out of my carefully crafted book and film mountain to see what was out there to discover in the pink, red, and heart shaped world of romance. I gave it fifty pages before my instincts kicked in, so one spite-read book with a sadly squandered premise later, I returned to my mountain sure in the fact that the genre just wasn’t for me.

That’s all to say that maybe I’m not the best person to come up with a Valentine’s Day related post. But time’s ticking and it’s only two days away so here we are, you and me, in between a rock and a Hallmark card shaped place. So, I hope you’re ready for a very sincere, from the bottom of my heart, extremely unconventional Valentine’s Day book and movie review where the most overdone romance tropes are turned on their heads. And hey, if you, like me, are tired of the parade of overwrought lovey-doveyness that springs up like weeds at this time of year, maybe these picks will be right up your alley.

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Brrring On the Warmth: Finding Your Cozy

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There’s no winning as a Seasonal Fusser. That’s the title I’ve bestowed upon myself, a thorny crown that almost boasts a quality of perpetual discontent with the Canadian weather we each endure and endear. Emphasis on almost — because there’s a potential remedy to seasonal fussiness that I’m going to share with you.

Close-up image of a snowflake.
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

First, a quick introduction: As a new member of the HOTS team (a big and sincere thank you to my colleagues for the warm welcome, by the way!), I must confess that my go-to conversation starter is typically rooted in the capricious. And amid these frigid conditions that sheathe our windows with curtains of frost, there’s no greater example than the weather.

So, here’s my two cents: I’m a fan of long summer days marked by cerulean, cloudless skies and bright rays of sun that infiltrate my windows. I especially long for it at a time when I’m often inconvenienced by slushy sidewalks, mountains of snow, and/or freezing evenings that darken before 5 p.m.

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The Anti-Oscars

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Welp, it’s that season again. No, I don’t mean the lingering frigid temperatures and precipitation of February. I mean award season. Is it just me or do The Oscars nominees seem particularly far removed and uninteresting in comparison to what us plebs are actually watching? I’m intrigued by The Brutalist, now being heralded as Adrien Brody’s greatest work since The Pianist, but I have a feeling my interest in architecture won’t be enough to keep me in my seat for over three and a half hours. Do you ever get the feeling that the teams behind these often bloated, slow-moving marathon pieces are in some kind of secret competition to make the longest movie possible? Whenever a film exceeds two and a half hours, I generally wish the editor had stepped in with their metaphorical (and anachronistic) scissors to cut large swaths of unnecessary film from the picture. If you’re like me, and you look for award competitions that honour plucky, underdog ventures, look no further. I found some awards that have applauded what I’ve actually been watching and what I hope you’ve been watching too! In the tradition of anti-proms, I hereby dub this the Anti-Oscars. Last year around this time, I introduced you dear readers to the Dorian Awards — a competition run by GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics. Read more about the Dorians here, but suffice it to say, there are traditional award categories like Film of the Year, and there are also ones you don’t see everyday, like LGBTQ Film of the Year and Visually Striking Film of the Year. This time around, more than one of the nominations for Unsung Film of the Year are movies I’ve seen and very much enjoyed. Let me tell you a bit about them.

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