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The wackiest joke book ever

Kids can't resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We've stuffed the pages of this little book with the silliest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers-all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. Here's a sampling: Q. Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? A. He had no guts. Q. What did the lips say to the eyes? A. Between you and me, something smells. Q. Why did all of the students eat their homework? A. The teacher said the questions were a piece of cake.

The white boy shuffle / Beatty, Paul

Paul Beatty's hilarious and scathing debut novel is about Gunnar Kaufman, an awkward, black surfer bum who is moved by his mother from Santa Monica to urban West Los Angeles. There, he begins to undergo a startling transformation from neighborhood outcast to basketball superstar, and eventually to reluctant messiah of a "divided, downtrodden people". A bombastic coming-of-age novel that has the uncanny ability to make readers want to laugh and cry at the same time. Beatty mingles horrific reality with wild fancy in this remarkable debut novel.

The wind in the willows / Cheshire, Marc

For more than a century, The Wind in the Willows and its endearing protagonists have enchanted children of all ages. Whether the four friends are setting forth on an exciting adventure, engaging in a comic caper, or simply relaxing by the River Thames, their stories are among the most charming in all English literature. Alternately slow moving and fast-paced, the novel is notable for its mixture of mysticism, adventure, morality, and camaraderie and is celebrated for its evocation of the pastoral nature of the Thames valley.

The world unseen / Ray, Lisa

In 1950's South Africa, a free-spirited caf ̌owner falls for a young wife and mother. Their unexpected attraction pushes them to question the cruel rules of a world that divides white from black and women from men, but a world that might just allow an unexpected love to survive.

The youth = : Mládí / Asimov, Isaac
Mládí
Two young boys find some very unusual new pets in this short story from a Grand Master of Science Fiction. Tagging along while his astronomer father visits an industrialist at his vast estate, young Slim is lucky enough to make fast friends with the industrialist's son, Red, who has recently caught some very strange animals on the property. The animals seem intelligent enough, and Red recruits Slim to help him train the odd creatures to do circus tricks. But the boys are about to discover their playthings aren't exactly animals-and they've allowed themselves to be caught for a reason . . . Youth is a riveting tale from the author of countless classics, including I, Robot and the Foundation Trilogy, which won the Hugo Award for Best All-Time Series. This ebook has been professionally proofread to ensure accuracy and readability on all devices.

Two for trust / Brownlee, Elle.

A fairy-tale vacation-if he can get the ending right. American nurse Finch Mason steps beyond the comfort of his orderly life and takes a dream trip to England, complete with a National Trust Pass so he can visit numerous historical sites. At the first one on his list, he's warmly welcomed-and told he bought a pass good for two. Finch doesn't hesitate to offer the pass to Benedict, a handsome Brit also there on an outing. They spend a magical week touring the countryside, and while it's too soon to get attached, Finch wishes their time together would never end. Then Finch finds himself stuck abroad with no money, and he has no one to turn to but Benedict. Benedict is happy to help, but he also owes Finch some answers-such as who he really is and why he was at the estate where they first met.

Ugly prey : an innocent woman and the death sentence that scandalized jazz age Chicago / Lucchesi, Emilie Le Beau

Ugly Prey tells the riveting story of poor Italian immigrant Sabella Nitti, the first woman ever sentenced to hang in Chicago, in 1923, for the alleged murder of her husband. Journalist Emilie Le Beau Lucchesi leads readers through the case, showing how, with no evidence and no witnesses, Nitti was the target of an obsessed deputy sheriff and the victim of a faulty legal system. She was also-to the men who convicted her and reporters fixated on her-ugly. For that unforgiveable crime, the media painted her as a hideous, dirty, and unpredictable immigrant, almost an animal. Featuring two other fascinating women-the ambitious and ruthless journalist who helped demonize Sabella through her reports and the brilliant, beautiful, 23-year-old lawyer who helped humanize her with a jailhouse makeover-Ugly Prey is not just a page-turning courtroom drama but also a thought-provoking look at the intersection of gender, ethnicity, and class within the American justice system.

Ultimate guide to Instagram for business / Walsh-Phillips, Kim

Social media marketing expert and strategist Kim Walsh Phillips shows business owners, practitioners, and marketers how to invest in Instagram-enhanced efforts that reach today's visual consumers, engage with their target audience, and ultimately drive sales. Walsh Phillips shares a measurable, profitable, and easy-to-use direct-response game plan that will help make the most of this hot and trending social media platform. Contributions from marketing professionals with strong promotional platforms, media and audiences. Provides social media and branding how-to relative to small businesses without expectation of large budgets or staff.

Well fed, flat broke : recipes for modest budgets and messy kitchens / Wight, Emily

A down-to-earth cookbook that proves you don't need a lot of money to create nutritious, beautiful meals at home. In this winsome cookbook, blogger Emily Wight offers fantastic recipes, ideas, and advice on how to prepare imaginative, nutritious, and delectable meals without breaking the bank. Perfect for students, families, and anyone on a budget. Well-Fed, Flat Broke proves that while you may occasionally be flat broke, you can always be well fed. This collection of 120 recipes ranges from the simple (perfect scrambled eggs, rice and lentils) to the sublime (Orecchiette with White Beans and Sausage, Mustard-fried Chicken). Chapters are organized by ingredient so that you can easily build a meal from what you have on hand. Well Fed, Flat Broke has flavours to please every palette including Thai, Dutch, Indonesian, and Latin American-inspired recipes such as Kimchi Pancakes, Salvadoran Roast Chicken, and Pantry Kedgeree, reflecting a diverse array of affordable ingredients and products in grocery stores, markets, and delis. Emily is a working mother and wife who lives with a picky toddler in one of Canada's most expensive cities. She offers readers real-talk about food, strategic shopping tips, sound advice for picky eaters, and suggestions on how to build a well-stocked, yet inexpensive pantry. Cooking every night can be challenging for busy families who are short on time and lean in budget; Emily includes plenty of one-pot dishes to keep everyone healthy, full, and happy. With friendly charm and practical advice, Well Fed, Flat Broke will have you eating like a millionaire without having to spend like one. Emily Wight is a writer and home cook who's been blogging about food for the past six years.

What the cat dragged in / Tortuga, B. A.

Don't people know that cats and dogs don't mix? Connor Ragbone finds things. Sometimes it's gold, sometimes jewels, sometimes people. Set in his hippie ways, he never thought he'd find a pack, but with Sam and Gus and their goofy shifter family, he fits right in. Then he finds Brock. Shifter Brock Herman is undercover alone, working to break up a poaching ring. The last thing he needs is for Connor to wreck his sting. And now the crazy bobcat just won't go away! The poachers lead Brock and Connor on a merry chase all over Western Colorado, looking for shifter bears, but it's a lost pup who brings them back to Nevada and the pack Sam and Gus are building. That's when Brock has to decide whether he still travels alone or if Connor and his crazy family are where his heart belongs. This follow-up to Just Like Cats and Dogs is a feel-good shifter romance novel where cats and dogs prove they can be way more than the enemies nature has made them.