Ah, another February, another Valentine’s Day come and gone. Which means that there’s still time for another unconventional Love Day blog post. Thankfully, I’m not alone this year in my semi-refusal to indulge in all things red, pink, and Hallmark. Instead of going down the path of unconventional romance tales or creep-tastic bloody Valentines, though, we’re going to do something not too far off the beaten road- a little look into self-love, because no relationship trumps the relationship you have with yourself. Even romantic-comedy guru, Emily in Paris’ Lily Collins is in the know, writing “no relationship is greater than the one I have with myself”, in her 2017 biography Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me (and in discovering that, I’ve also just found out that the “when someone shows you who they are, believe them” quote rallying one corner of social media is also from the same biography. Huh, the more you know.)

Well, maybe I should say that this blog is going to delve into self-love through the practice of self-care. Not just any old, five-minute Buzzfeed-read type of self-care, either. Our library shelves are full of ways to take care of yourself, mind, body, and spirit, and I’ve done my best to grab some of the best from our collection. So, if you’re ready to settle in, put on a fluffy bathrobe (or comfy equivalent), and be with yourself (and me) for a little while, let’s dive in.

Thinking about it, it’s probably best to take a head, shoulders, knees, and toes (or head, skin, stomach?) approach to this, so let’s start right at the top with the head. If you’ve never done self-care or some mind-maintenance before, which, decently guilty, it can seem like a tough thing to start doing. Pro-tip: if you feel a little silly doing it for the first little while, you’re doing it right. The thing is to find the things that work for you, and, as it turns out, deep breathing and meditation might not be it. That’s where Corinne Sweet’s 2 Minutes to Peace comes in. Yes, it has plenty of mindfulness activities that require the classic in through the nose, out through the mouth, but there are so many others in its pages to kickstart your journey into head weed management. Plus, there’s no false advertisement here. Each activity is meant to be only two minutes long (but no sweat if you end up spending longer), because sometimes that’s all we have to ourselves and self-care isn’t meant to stress you out when you’re already frayed and don’t have time in your day to do it. Flipping through the pages, I already happened to find a few things to work into my routine, including the Doodle-Do, which is as simple to do as it is fun to say, and the Starfish. Aka, lying stretched out on your floor for floor time. Second pro-tip: the floor is often a great therapist.

Self-care for the Real World takes all those two-minute goodies one step further, so when you’re ready to graduate into the world of true, deep listening, this book will serve as your handy-dandy tip sheet. The Narain sisters, one part yoga guru (don’t worry, I wasn’t about to skip the billboard-sized staple of self-care) and one part massage therapist, have distilled the best of their practices onto paper, whether you want to add more joy, peace, or hope into your life. The tips inside cover everything from minor to major routine changes, massage, yoga (of course), healthy pantry staples, and recipes for any kind of meal- even dessert, because dessert is also self-care (more on this later). But most of all, Self-care for the Real World offers a way to guide you through figuring out what you need versus what you want, which can get confusing in our real-world day-to-day rush. Someone wise once said to get rid of what no longer serves you, and often, self-care looks a lot like decluttering.

Speaking of recipes, not only did I find ones that you can eat (self-care is not skimping out on good food) but there’s also those that you can slather on your skin for an at home spa day, because the spa can be rough on the wallet and sometimes those Sephora beauty masks just don’t cut it (and are also as rough on the wallet- I just went through their website and… yikes). Shiva Rose’s Masks and Scrubs will keep you from breaking the bank while teaching you how to use your grocery list to leave you glowing inside and out. It treats beauty routines not as vanity, but as a way to practice intuition and creativity as you cultivate a ritual that works for you. If you keep drifting or wiggling around every time you try to meditate, then maybe making something by hand is the substitute you need. Plus, it has the added side-benefit of leaving you smelling great while also feeling more authentic than whatever the next crystal detoxing fad is. Rose has also taken the time to break down the ingredients she uses in her concoctions, from avocado to green tea and honey, with information on their vitamins and fun lessons on their mythology and symbology in ayurvedic health. With how rough our winter has been this year, even if you weren’t looking to start a new self-care regimen, your hair, lips, and skin could probably use a little TLC and will thank you for taking the time to flip through the pages of Rose’s book.

Now, finally, let’s talk food. A lot of your usual self-care guides will probably send you down a rabbit hole through the world of clean eating, detox-maxing, and other diets with popular buzzwords. But, after reading through the first part of Abbey Sharp’s Mindful Glow Cookbook, I recommend tossing all those guides out the window. But don’t take it from me. As a Toronto-based (hooray for Canada!) dietitian and a reformed dieter herself, it’s her advice too, because, as it turns out, many diets are not self-care, just repackaged and softer-looking versions of the ones we gave up post-2010. Instead of the “what” part of food, the recipes in Sharp’s cookbook focus more on avoiding the restrictions that ultimately lead us to more stress, which is definitely not self-care. Not to say that self-care is gorging yourself on a family-sized bag of Bugles, but healthy food is varied, and sometimes that means having dessert to feed your joy (and not the skimpy, sad desserts of the ghosts of diets past). The cookbook is balanced between vitamin-rich relishes, cooked veggies, sides and dinners, and flourless chocolate cake and banana peanut butter cups, which, as a Reese’s peanut butter cup inhaler, you should have seen the face I made. I want twenty, and I want them now. But alas, I, and by proxy you, will have to wait until my next grocery store run. Maybe it’s high time to revive Adam’s kitchen adventure blogs while I’m at it…    

Last, but certainly not least, Mindful Glow Cookbook’s philosophy on dessert serves as an excellent segue into the mountain of chocolate-themed cookbooks I found in our collection to wrap up our venture into self-love. Because what Valentine’s Day is complete without a little chocolate, even if you’re only loving yourself? Donna Hay’s aptly titled Chocolate takes beginner chocolatiers through an introduction to the (not debatable) best ingredient on the planet, with an easy-to-use cheat sheet on essential techniques and bite-sized (sometimes literally) recipes with their own mouthwatering photos. As someone who is team cupcake over cake, the flourless glazed chocolate cupcakes had me staring at the page for a good few minutes. I want twenty. I would also like twenty of the thin mint chocolate cookies from Everything Chocolate. The cookbook is a bit of a leap from Hay’s easy-going instructions with an entire twenty-page expansion on the need-to-knows of chocolate, but the recipes are just as good. They also come straight from the ovens of America’s Test Kitchen, so you know they’re ones you can rely on again and again. Lastly, since there’s always room for more chocolate, there’s There’s Always Room for Chocolate. Enough said. Though this one might lose some points from me just because instead of giving me the unbeatable urge to make cookie chip chocolates (you did, in fact, read that right) or The Chocolate Room’s famous hot chocolate, I kind of just want to pop on a Porter plane to Brooklyn and visit their café in person. But the team behind The Chocolate Room did leave some handy (and very detailed) instructions in their book to get as close as possible to the real deal, so I guess that will have to do.

If all that made you a little too hungry, oops. Sorry! I promise I do it out of love. In any case, I hope that, even while hungry, you were inspired to be a little kinder to yourself, even (and especially) if that means a little splurge every once in a while. With that, I’ll let you go enjoy some well-deserved you time. Until next month!