Tag Archives: Adult

Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close

big friendship book coverI have a distinct childhood memory of being at some older cousin’s wedding, listening to the Maid of Honour give a speech. She was my cousin’s best friend, and I remember her saying something along the lines of “we can go months without seeing each other, and then pick right back up where we left off.” To little me, the idea of not seeing your friends for months was preposterous. How can you even call yourselves friends, if you’re not seeing each other every day? Of course, as an adult, that speech now makes a lot of sense to me. Even before COVID, it wasn’t unusual to not see good friends for months and months. Keeping in touch is easier now, of course: smartphones and social apps. But in-person hangouts are far less frequent than as kids. Reality isn’t like Friends or New Girlyou probably don’t live across the hall from or in one giant apartment with your adult friends.  

Adult friendships are a lot harder to maintain than sitcoms would suggest, due to competing commitments. Jobs, significant others, children. We’re busy! If you’re an avid podcast listener, you might know Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman from Call Your Girlfriend, the hit podcast “for long distance besties everywhere.” The show’s manifesto is as follows, from the website: “We believe that friendship—particularly among women and femme-identified people—is a defining, important, and powerful relationship, and that conversations among friends can be the source of incredible social and political power.” A bold statement, and one that’s at the core of their new book Big Friendship, though in a down-to-earth, accessible (and fun!) way.  

In Big Friendship, Aminatou and Ann (as they refer to themselves) work through their living example of a successful friendship that has survived all sorts of adult problems. The trick? They simply cared to maintain that friendship. And that meant putting in work, the kind of work we usually associate with romantic relationships (they have, for example, been to Friend Therapy). Big Friendship makes the argument that, though society doesn’t seem to value it as such, deep, lasting friendship is—and always was—a vital part of the human experience. 

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Read Proud: Books for Pride Month

image of pride flagAs we all know, June is Pride Month. And as we continue on our educational journeys in this electrifying time of social upheavalcelebrating marginalized populations feels more necessary than ever. We’ve seen a lot of ugliness rise up particularly in the last few years—a trend that doesn’t seem to be slowing down, what with the all-too-recent repeal of trans rights in the US—and it’s enough to make you feel helpless sometimes. While we continue to be let down by those we idolized (cough JK Rowling), we can turn to more positive examples (cough Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson) to shape how we want our future to look. As I talked about in my last post, the idea of joyful expression can be a salve against the wounds inflicted by society, a way of pushing back against a force that wants you beaten down and depressedBut more than just joy, allowing marginalized stories to take whatever form they want—allowing artistic voices to flourish regardless of origin—is what we should be fighting for!  

For Pride Month, I put together a list of LGBTQ+ titles that span genres and identities, to give a taste of the kind of variety that’s out there. No doom and gloom here (but maybe some delicious heartbreak). And while VPL doesn’t currently have some newer titles due to Coronavirus-related delays (look out for Something to Talk AboutYou Exist Too MuchBroken People, and Love After Love in the future), we do carry plenty of others! This list was only supposed to include ten titles, but apparently I wrote eleven, because I can’t count. So now it’s a list of eleven titles, in no particular order

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Laughter is the Best Medicine

When’s the last time you laughed – a hearty, can’t catch your breath, rib-tickling – kind of laugh? Maybe it’s been a while. Maybe you just don’t think there’s anything to laugh about these days, during this challenging, tiring, and seemingly endless monotony we are living in. Maybe you feel guilty to laugh knowing that people in your community are struggling and suffering, knowing that life may not return to the way you remember. Maybe you are still reeling from the unforgivable atrocity against George Floyd, and rightly so (please see Karen’s enlightening blog post on allyship and anti-racism).

Yes, even with all these sorrows, our collective anger and outrage, we must make room for laughter. Humour can lighten our mental load, provide a much-needed respite from the unrelenting flow of bad news, and help us cope with this new world in which we find ourselves.

We have much to be grateful for. Many of us are surrounded by a loving circle of comrades who are enduring quarantine right alongside us. We have seen so many of our community members dedicate their time, resources, and energy to help those less fortunate. And we have prevailed, finding new and innovative ways to connect, exercise, relax, and nourish our souls (#TogetherVaughan). We are gonna get through this!

I’m here to tell you that laughter truly is the best medicine. It’s a scientific fact! Laughter decreases stress hormones, increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, and thereby actually improves your resistance to disease. Take a moment to let that sink in. Laughter, yes, plain old-fashioned heart pumping laughter, is actually a disease-fighting superhero!

Below are some of my tried and true favourites to ease the doldrums, put a smile on your face, and warm your heart. Most are available in digital form, however, if you prefer a physical copy, Vaughan Public Libraries has you covered with curbside pickup at select branches. Continue reading